Relief

First of all, I must give thanks to my blog.
Yes, my own amazing blog. [normally I don't say that, but for once, it must be said]
For reminding me that...

The NS List had finally been released on the website.

Yes, I actually forgot that the list had been released on Thursday. Actually, it may have been the possibility that I'd forgotten that Thursday was the 27th of November anyway. [I blame work for this]
But, nonetheless, I remembered when I checked my blog this morning, and realised that today was the 28th of November, and that I should probably check that list now.

For those who have yet to check, the website is http://www.khidmatnegara.gov.my/
To check for your name, you should enter your IC number and press the 'cari' button, sit tight and hope for the best [whatever you hope the result to be].

Checking that website was the most daunting task EVER.
Forget having to move from country to country approximately every 3 years.
Forget having to hike through acres of bush in the Karoo during Saints Trek.
Forget having to sit through six never ending TEE exams.

I had to interpret this white, red and blue flashing website which was all in malay into english.
For those who don't know me, languages are not my strong point. My malay is at best, incredibly weak.
I spent at least half an hour fumbling about the website in search of the word 'nama', after which I gave up and googled 'national service malaysia list 2009'
Thankfully, it led me to this website: www.malaysia-students.com/2006/07/malaysian-national-service-khidmat.html which very helpfully told me what I was meant to do in english. Ideally I would've liked a complete translation of the Khidmat Negara website into english or even step by step instructions of what to do, but it was enough to get me started.
I saw this sentence: Semakan Status Penempatan dan Kumpulan Siri 6/2009 Melalui Kad Pengenalan... and I understood the phrase 'kad pengenalan'.
I entered in my IC number, and was greeted with the sweetest words I'd ever seen this year:

"No KP anda tidak terdapat dalam senarai yang terpilih."

Yeah, as you may have guessed by now, I still didn't completely understand that phrase.
But I did understand the word 'tidak' and guessed that I wasn't down on the list. :P:P
Thanks to Chris Ng, who happened to be on Facebook at that time, he explained to me that it meant: "You have not been chosen for the programme."

I think it's pretty obvious by now that I did NOT want to be chosen for National Service. All the crap about adding 10 points of co-curricular activities to my resume seriously does not apply to me. I have been to enough camps to use and draw from, should my 10 points ever need to be filled. Not that I will need it since I am not going to educate myself in Malaysia anymore.
And I am so happy. I now do not have to resort to devious ends to avoid getting in.
I was seriously considering getting a Singaporean citizenship if I was inducted into the programme, meaning I would never be able to settle in Malaysia until I completed my 3 months. So I'd basically be out of the country until I was like...45.

I CAN'T LEAVE MY OWN COUNTRY FOR 28 YEARS!!

Not to mention, my complete and utter failure to translate what was on that website proves my serious disability to cope with NS. I mean, everything is going to be in malay. And I will be the lone foreigner who will most likely be eaten by tigers or sacrificed to cannibalistic orang utans by my group, if we get lost in the jungle.
Although I at least understand the words 'harimau' and 'awas'.

Life is good.
Now if only the 6th of December would come faster and I could get into the University of Melbourne.

Mishy <3

Horror Came to Me

"Horror came to me in the form of glow in the dark soup."
As the bowl moved closer, I began to wonder what this monstrous creation was. Though the substance was almost invisible to me, covered by its own source, its presence was known by the faint glow that it admitted. I stared in horror at the one who moved it closer to my face. Perhaps this was what Revelations was talking about. The end of the world.

It certainly would be if anyone attempted to ingest it.

I took the bowl, and tipped it over in the sink, watching the glowing mess trickle down into a whirlwind formation down the sink. A pair of interested eyes looked over my shoulder. The sun had set a long time ago, and the black out which had begun in the afternoon had thrown the city into darkness. Dogs growled at each other in the street below, and cats yowled their night time lullaby to the world, in tune with the bashing trees and wind across the window.

If I had to blame anyone for Mother Nature's tantrum outside, I would blame it on that radiating, glowing bowl of soup.

"Darling...how many times has mummy told you not to play with your paints in the kitchen?"


I got bored, so I took one of Ami's American University essay questions and did it for fun. Been meaning to do it for a while, and finally I have the time.
And after reading what I wrote, and considering how long it took me to write it...I think I need a lot more practice again.

Mishy <3

Worth It?

Okay, so it's been a long time since I've been busy with anything full stop. I wish I could take up dancing or choir again, but I guess I'm going to have to wait for uni to start before I even think of taking up anything that may tie me down! [Oh gosh, please anythng that will take me away from here- MELBOURNE!!]

But okay, so the slightly extra time does mean I have more time for reflection.

Yes. Reflection.

It is quite a scary topic to think about, I know.

I decided to make up for all my non-existant-ness during exams by talking to the people I'd really missed out on and everything. And, who'm I kidding, there's a lot of people I haven't talked to in ages! I could actually make a career out of it, completely. And it's not like I meet new people every other week. More like every other year. Facebook is just that convenient for things like these, really.

But, as it turns out...some people don't really seem to be worth keeping in touch with. =/
It's odd. The people I talked to everyday and whom I couldn't live without back when we saw each other everyday...don't reply back as much as I'd like.
It's odd, that the people I barely ever talked to before have suddenly become more important to me in so many ways I could never have imagined.
Plus, it's hard. When I talk, others don't. At such a great distance, I agree it's not easy, but at least I do try. I wonder, really, if it's worth all the trouble I put into keeping in touch with people, when these other people don't put in the same effort that I do.

Don't get me wrong. They have their lives to lead...and I have mine. But people seem to be so absorbed in the lives that they lead. And people have some strange misconceptions about what I do. When I first started working, most of my international school friends thought I was working to feed my family. -_-" NO, I am working to finance myself, not my family. Just because I've started work does not mean that I have suddenly stooped so low that I partake in child labour. It just means that I'm preparing myself.

But some people have been great. Been there for me almost every step of the way, and just encouraging me to get there, slowly, but surely. Put up with my fights, my strange ideas of the world [yes, it's strange - to you.] and my wild imagination. Stuck by me through my presence, and my absence. Given me as much news as they can of the world that I left. Allowed me to travel, at least in spirit, through the journey that I would have gone on with them. That's the effort I can appreciate. That's the effort I put in for everyone who's ever had an impact on my life, and sometimes others as well.
It would be nice if people could return the favour. I don't ask people to act as though I am still around. I don't expect people to give me the same attention that I once had when I was present all the time. But it would be nice if, just a few times a month or even a year...I got some news that they were still alive, and that I have not been forgotten. That the friendship we once had did not fade completely, and that I actually once lived in the same culture and time as my friend did.

I'm not specifically pointing anyone out, nor do I actually have a particular person in mind. But it might give an idea of how many people it is that just seem to gradually fade away.

So really...is it worth me putting in so much effort for the people who don't even try?
I'll keep trying...but only to find the people who will put in the same effort as I do.

Mishy <3

In another note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX!!! Hope the 18th year turns out to be spectacular for you bro. And may whatever you set out to achieve, hopefully come true. And yes, we will go to Starbucks lah. Because Coffee Bean is gay. :P

National Service Details Out Soon

NS camp details out next week

KUALA LUMPUR: Those selected to join the National Service next year will be able to check their assigned camps and batches from Nov 27.
They can check online at www.khidmatnegara.gov.my or call the National Service Department’s hotline at 03-26813446.
Major newspapers will also publish the full list on Dec 6.
The next batch of 140,000 trainees will be the largest yet, an increase of 30,000 from this year.

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.

panic Panic PANIC

*breathes*

So this is what I'm coming back to. This is what's greeting me the minute I step off that plane. This is going to pretty much determine all my travel plans for the next 25 years.
Worse yet, the batch has increased. My chances have increased. I know there's a lot of Malaysian teenagers, but there can't be so many that I won't get chosen.
Will there?

Seeing as I can't understand malay very well, I guess I'll have to get my parents to check for me. Or worse yet...*gulp* go home to bad news.
No, no, think positive. Good news. I only want good news from now on.

Hmmmm, good news... is not getting chosen for National Service. And marks! Good marks...and getting to the University of Melbourne would be great too.
I could think of a whole bunch of other things that would be great, but, so far, that's the main goal. That's the plan.

Dear God,
It's Michelle here.
I'm begging you now, please.
Please don't let my name be on that list.
Please.

Mishy <3