...On Being Emo

Okay. So I've been kinda sorta depressed for a while. Not that anyone knew that.

Crazy things've been happening, and they're all things I obviously have no control over.

So first up - Ms. Rames's death.
She was the Malay HoD, back at my old school in Malaysia, and she passed away due to a stroke if I'm not wrong.
I didn't know her well. She was never a teacher of mine. But she was a strong woman, who did things with great dignity, and I felt it during my time there. Her death came as a great shock to me, personally. Because I had no idea that she had any medical problems at all. But then again, I haven't been a part of the school for years now. Nontheless, any kind of death upsets me, even though I believe that we all go to a better place when we pass on. I guess it's just the shock that 'so-and-so' woke up one morning, only to pass away tragically. Or another scenario I always imagine is 'so-and-so' going to sleep and never waking up the next day. I get more upset whenever it's someone I know, however distantly related.

Whatever. I just don't like death.

Next up - Australia's kooky weather.
And I take this on a more personal level cuz it's threatening me too! Rising floods in the North East and raging bush fires in the South East. I can't imagine what's happening to everyone there.
Most of Victoria is being destroyed by fire after fire. When I watched the special news reports on raging bushfires in Australia just now, the latest was that an 80 kilometer wall of flame was headed for one of the towns in Victoria. Eighty kilometers. Who's going to be able to escape that quickly now?!
And then there's Queensland, battling wave after wave of floods. And now threats of crocodile attacks in the flood waters? I knew there had to be one con of living right next to the Great Barrier Reef.
And of course, Perth is getting by quite nicely without too many disruptions. [as usual...*sigh*] But we're still getting bushfires, such as the one in King's Park. And the one at Whiteman's Park. [both lit by humans, the buggers] And then the one closeby to my house. My house. I'm starting to freak out, and wonder where I should run and whether I can take anything and what would happen if both my parents are out of the house [which occurs rather frequently] and are unable to drive us outta there quick. Especially since I live right next to bushland! Hmm, better start getting my sneakers ready...

Also there - New immigration regulations against Zimbabweans.
So. I had high hopes for one of my friends, *Monzi a Zimbabwean girl, in joining me down here. I've missed the girls from South Africa, and having even one from the pack around would be thrilling.
But guess what? The government's being difficult now. Apparently all Zimbabweans must now have a sponsor who is a relative and a resident in Australia who owns over AUD120000 in order for the student to come here. And not to be crude, but my friend and I both realised that it was because the Aussie government is afraid that Zimbos will come as students, and then refuse to leave, claiming status as refugees once their education is over.
I want to know...since when Australia has been trying to regulate who comes into the country and who doesn't. Australia, since the 1970s, has been accepting people willy nilly into the country. Zimbabweans should be no different.
Hmm, maybe Pauline Hanson had too much of a bad impact. Boo sucks to her!
But *Monzi's got one last shot at getting here. I'm praying that she does.

On the plus side, *Leow is definitely here to stay for uni. =) *Nish is back from her round Asia tour! :P I start uni soon. I still have a job, and my mates are safe and sound. Which I'm happy about.

Mishy <3

Looking Back...

We were discussing this in P&L, and when I finally thought about all of it, I was pretty surprised.
Mr. Lacy kept saying something aboout managing to skip a grade in primary school. Not that we actually considered that to be too much of a feat now, but back in the day I suppose it would've been considered pretty impressive.

Looking back, I had a family friend who managed to move up a year after a term in year 3. I was in year 5 at that time, and rather unimpressed at the fact that he was now encroaching on my territory.

My story, I suppose, is not nearly as impressive as his was.
What I had managed to do was to skip out on a Year/Grade/Standard 4. Completely. It wasn't because I was brilliantly smart. It wasn't because my mother forced me to enroll into school early beyond my formative years. No, none of that.
It was because I switched school systems.
When I was 8 I moved from the Philippines to Malaysia. In doing so, I had to switch from an American Missionary international school to a British international school. I had just finished Grade 3, and upon moving back to Malaysia, realised that I was meant to continue into Year 5, and not 4.

And I never quite realised what a weird, but interesting circumstance it was. I guess one could say it coincided with my Chinese heritage, with 'si' or 'sei' being unlucky and all. So technically, this would then mean I should be extremely lucky in all my studies, seeing as I've managed to miss out on the 'most unlucky' year of all?

Well, perhaps not so lucky. I remember having to spend all of year 5 changing my spelling from that of an American way to a British way. And of course, I am now fully convinced that the British way is the only proper way to spell things because of this. XD I didn't go through all that work for nothing.

Aluminum ---> Aluminium
Color ---> Colour
Favorite ---> Favourite
Gray ---> Grey

Odd, the things that've actually happened to me when I think about it.

Mishy <3

Living In A Bubble

I had this conversation yesterday with a friend of mine. It started off as usual. The niceties come first, and then everything else comes splurging out [as it always does with the two of us]. It's always the way it has been with any friend of mine, seeing as how every online conversation is either a catch up conversation or a debate for me.
Both of us have left the school that we met in, and, well, things have changed.
Some for the better, and some for the worst obviously. That's the point of every catch up conversation and every debate- to see how much we've all changed, and in which direction. But I guess we've all changed because of our environment.
The stories get told, and experiences come bursting forth, and the memories are rapidly painted with paint that came from no-where- paint that doesn't match the scene that we once knew. You'd be surprised about the kind of words and adjectives we use to describe what used to be the centre of our world. It's like trying to paint a tree with turquoise leaves. It's so different. Of course, some would say it was green, and others would comment it was blue. Such is my situation now.

Back in GIS, I lived in a bubble.

Not just ANY bubble, it was a very translucent, tiny sort of bubble. It was porous, but only with the most minute of holes. I guess, in plain english: GIS is like a protective little bubble. In your own safe world. Things happen this particular way, and you don't question it. You never do. You've got your own entertainment, you've got your luxuries, and you've got your hardships. Your friends are the most important thing to you, and hanging out with them is all that matters. The picture lurking around on the edges of the bubble is unseen, and at best, plainly ignored. This is the system as it is accepted. What happens before, and indeed, what happens after, is something else entirely.

And in a way, I'm glad I left. I was completely clueless. I was in over my head with everything. I had no idea what I was doing, or why. Sure it's disciplined. Sure it's organised. And it's always going to be one of the best schools I've been to. But any longer and I may have turned out to be someone else, not the person I am today. Possibly a bit of an air head with no aim and my nose constantly being higher than the rest of my head. And it's not just GIS, it's pretty much any international school I've been to.
BISM in the Philippines was also another bubble. The campus I went to closed down recently, almost six years after I left, and operations are now running in a different part of the city. And looking at all the photos from the reunion that I was unable to attend, I see now more than ever the kind of world that I was isolated in. The campus was so beautiful- it's possibly, easily the most extravagent school campus I've ever been in. And it was my little world. It was my mini universe. But life wasn't really like that. Did I ever really know much about the Philippines? Did I ever know much about its culture? Did I even care? And to be really honest, do I actually know why ex-President Estrada was jailed? Or why the Philippines is so poor?

I'm so into politics and culture now, that I'm choosing - hoping - to make it the career of my life. I can't imagine a life away from travelling and writing. If I'd stayed in GIS, I can pretty much guarantee that I'd probably be there for the rest of my life. Refusing to move. Refusing change. Most international school kids have no idea what kind of life other people have. Most of them are rich. As an international school kid, I had everything paid for me. My education, my house, my car, my petrol- all paid for by my dad's company whom I blame solely for my constant country hopping. When you suddenly stop being an international school kid- what happens then?
I have a casual job now, in Australia. Most of my friends seem to think I am now working to feed my family whilst attending school. And that's not the reason. I'm working to earn extra cash. And it's not as if I'm the only one doing it. It's just an accepted way of life in Australia, but of course, would an international school kid really know that unless they tried to move out of their bubble?

My bubble has burst, and in doing so, I've finally learnt to breathe the fresh air that's been kept from me. I've made new friends, seen new places, had new experiences. And looking back, it's like watching a play. Running around in their daily lives, having their little problems, encountering the same experiences time and time again. Their sights are confined to that one area on the horizon, that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. And once that's achieved, what else is there to aim for? Will they know how to move on? Will they know what to do with that pot of gold? And will it in fact even remain the gold that it should have and could have been?
It's a little ironic while I'm at it. International school kids have the most diverse upbringing in any country. Coming from so many countries, and meeting so many different races- are they really as ignorant as that? I have to say yes. I know [and unfortunately still have to deal with] the ignorance of kids in a public high school [my cousin asked me if Robert Mugabe, president of Zimbabwe was Australian- go figure] and I can easily, and faithfully say that the ignorance will only last so long as you let it. I have friends who've never even left the town that they're living in, much less the country, and they have an incredibly acute sense of what's happening around them, and the event surrounding them.

So many questions, so little time. But moving away has indefinitely solved some of life's questions for me, and I know I can tackle whatever come ahead. I have a finer appreciation for what's around me, and an acute sense of anything going wrong. And as a bonus, if I ever need to move somewhere, I will have contacts in whatever country I do decide to live in. =)

Mishy <3

Technology-Wise?

Yesterday, I, ever being the rebel, decided that I would try to give my blog a new skin to give it that fresh, up lifted look from this old, but I guess not quite tired one. I do like this skin, I just thought it was time for an update.
And I found one. Surprisingly enough, in about 20 minutes, which is pretty short, seeing as I am one of the most nit-picky people to ever have roamed on this earth. And I copied the html code and everything, but then I got back to my blog page and tried to edit my template when I realised: Where the hell do I put it?

So after spending about half an hour on it, I gave up, purely because I was pretty lazy last night. As you can tell, seeing as I should've been doing something productive like studying anyway, instead of blogging. But basically, the gist of it is: I am sooo not as technology-wise as I usually believe I am.
Yes, I can go onto MSN.
And yes, I do know how to operate the printer.
Internet Explorer is my baby.
And Microsoft Word is my adopted child. (well, sorta)

Html, codes and all this other stuff are martians, aliens, foreigners, whatever you choose to call them to me. And it's amazing, seeing as the computer is an absolutely vital component to the operation of my life. And I still don't know the basics of such things like html.

But then again, is it really that important? Html? Codes? Do I really need to know the basics of these?
What would happen without it? No colour on the internet at all? No graphics? And (worst of all) no internet?

My response: I say YES.
Indded, it makes me wish I was back in GIS where ICT was compulsory, and I would have been forced to learn how to create a webpage. Or was that what we were meant to do back in Year 9 anyway? =/

So if anyone wants to tell me exactly what I'm meant to do with my html code, please tell me. Because I did find the part where I am meant to change my blogskin, but unfortunately, I don't know what to delete and what not to delete, because I am trying desperately to avoid having to re-edit all the colours of my wording and borders.

Mishy <3

I Has A Diary! *hugs*

I has a diary!
With lots and lots of pages, and a funky ass cover!
I CAN DIARISE PROPERLY AND NOT WRITE EVERYTHING ON LITTLE BITS OF PAPER AND LOSE IT ALL NOW!!!

*swoons*

Oh man, my life is complete for this month...*sigh*
Actually, it's kind of a waste of money, considering the school gives us a diary anyway. XD But it doesn't matter, cuz I'm the sort of person who needs lots and lots of space to write everything down in. Seriously. The school diary has like half an A5 page per day. I usually take up an entire A5 page to write down all my homework and whatever else is going on in my life to get me sorted. My diary from Saints is proof enough. And besides which, if you saw the amount of detail I wrote my homework down with, even in Morley, you would be surprised. Considering.
But then again, this is the perfectionist in me, who needs to have every little thing in set order in order to even comprehend it's completion.

I go back to school in another week! I am actually excited, surprisingly enough. I know I keep moaning about this 2 month holiday of mine. Which is weird when you think about it, considering in KL I got the same thing as well! In Jo'burg, I lost my two month holiday. XD But then again, in KL, the holiday came during the MEGA-SALE [salivates- how I miss you], whereas here, I am stuck with nothing to do but melt in the sweltering 40 degree celcius weather and pray that it rains soon. *grumps*

Girls at Saints have started school, and it's so fun hearing about all the new teachers and classes and whatnot. To any Saints Girl reading this, I look forward to more detail. Especially that new science teacher that Lavani keeps telling me about, so that I can determine whether or not I should have stayed in South Africa and hopefully passed science. XD I've seen the photos of the jumpsuit. Looks good, and sometimes I really wish I HAD stayed when I see them. XD But I'm sure that I'll have fun with my own Year 12 Top when it arrives. =)

Year 12 guys, it's such a huge step. Also the final step in high school. =P Man, I'm so nervous. Especially when I think about it, all my friends at any school I entered into before South Africa will still be in school, finishing off their IBs or A Levels while I will be starting first year uni next January. It is an awkward thought indeed, and should not actually happen, but there it is. I'm also amazed at the number of people who want to come to Australia. Especially from GIS. People, you were all GROOMED for the UK, why are you coming here? But either way, I guess I shouldn't be questioning it. I'm glad to have more friends coming in to keep me company. =) You know I've missed you guys. And you know who you are too.

=)

Mishy <3