Sleepless Nights

I can feel my eyes burning out the back of my head. Any minute now, you're going to see two large amd fizzled out masses falling out from the back.

And much as I wish I could blame partying and late nights out for this - that's not the reason.
I've been trying to get into WebCT for the past hour or so...and I am being constantly LOCKED OUT!!

Staring at the computer is going to make me blind.
But I'm going to have to risk it.

I've got a good reason for trying this hard though. My microeconomics lecturer didn't actually give me any mocks exams to do in preparation for this exam. But he did "very kindly" (I'm drowning this in sarcasm) leave some multiple choice questions for us to do online.
So. Much as I dislike having to rely on these questions, they're all I have available to test myself with. Problem with these questions is that I can't practice any graphs. Or force myself to put everything down in words. Especially since he's mentioned that I will need to blurt out everything I know to get any marks whatsoever.

But I guess today's need to test myself is going to the dogs...since I can't actually access my last bit of hope for Micro!!!

I wish he'd given us a test. At least then I'd have no excuse for blogging. :(

xx

Murder Me

Seriously. Go ahead. Right now.

I have no idea whether to be happy or not.

I got my mock exam marks back, in case no one can tell. =(

Well, I guess I'll start off with the good news, since, well, it deserves to get out. :P
I got 82% for my history and my maths!! :DD Never been happier for these two. Especially my history. I didn't think I would understand what was happening, and true enough, for a few sources I didn't. But I made it through, and I'm glad. And now I have to make sure I do the same for the finals. =(

For the others, I got in the 60% range. 60% for Human Biology. 61% for Political and Legal Studies. 63% for Chemistry. 68% for Literature.
How much more crap could this get, I was banking on Lit and Human Bio to be at least 70%! I always knew Chemistry would end up somewhere in the 60% range, although I was sort of hoping for above a 65%, seeing as I had somehow managed to convince myself that the paper was relatively easy. [Conto later told us it was actually edging on the hard side]
Still, I think Human Bio was a weird paper, and the top mark was 72%. =/ A scary thought, but at least the whole paper will get moderated up and I'll hopefully reach in with a 70-something% in that paper.
I sent my Lit paper in for remarking because I did a practice essay with the same question I did in the exam, and somehow managed to lose a full 5 marks from between the practice paper and the real thing. =/ Wonderous miracles indeed, but if all works out well, then I will have achieved at least two 80%s, two 70%s and two 60%s. Hmm, 4 A's and 2 C's. In Australia anyway. In South Africa and Malaysia, it would have been 2A's, 2B's, and 2C's.

Much as those marks look really good...it's still not good enough. Or at least not as good as I was hoping for. =/

Dear God, give me the strength to drag those marks up by the ear in the TEE. Amen.

Mishy <3

Mocks

Are overr!!!
But I now have to deal with the real deal in approximately three weeks. -_-"
Kind of upsetting considering the mocks feels like it's the end.
I think the exams went alright. I think.
Lit was pretty good. Well, then again, we had the questions beforehand, so it was more than alright.
P&L was...weird. =/ But I think I passed, and again, I reserve all comment till the results actually come out.
Human Biology has me slightly worried. I think I did okay.
Discrete Maths was pretty good, only I'm now wondering if I actually understood what was happening, or I misinterpreted it all.
History...has definitely got me worried. Then again, history constantly leaves me in doubt. I reiterate, I have an abusive relationship with history.
Chemistry will always freak me out. But for some reason, I wasn't as freaked out as I usually am before a Chemistry exam.
But, well, I have five days left of holidays, so I'll leave it all alone for now, and I'll confirm my feelings on the exams when the results come back. XD

I have a graduation dress! I love it. =) And I have no pictures yet, but there shall be some when I actually go for graduation. Xd LOL. But I can say that it is short, blue and has a strap. Hoorah! :P

Mishy <3

The Beginning of the End...

It's hard to believe.

It's hard to believe that this is where 12 years of studying leads up to.
It's the first of October today. This...this is practically the last month that I will ever be a student in an actual school. [save my flunking out of Year 12 completely and ending up having to repeat it] Sure, there's November still, but I'll be exams, not studying.

My Graduation Night is on the 27th of October, and I'm finding it surreal. I'm still in denial over it, somehow. As if after these exams, I'll go back to school again. This is just another year, and we're drawing towards the end of it. These exams haven't marked the end of anything. And in a few years time, I'll move to a different country again. Maybe Antarctica. XD But still, Graduation Night...it IS coming. My parents seem keen on attending and everything. I on the other hand haven't really given it any thought.

These exams mean everything it seems. It'll be the deciding factor in where I go for the next three years. Absolutely mental, when I think about it.
I've also decided that the rental fees for apartments in Melbourne is absolutely mental, I mean sheesh, how much more expensive could a one room condo get?

St. Stithian's College graduate in approximately a week, if my calculations are correct. I know exactly how they're feeling...I just regret that I'm not there with them to celebrate this graduation. I should be there, invading the Boys' College common room. I should be there, rallying the girls for the last warcry. I should be having that farewell chapel. I should be there, driving off with the girls who CAN drive. XD
I guess every school's different. But I looked forward to this particular one too much. Now having a different one feels like it's still not the end. But maybe things will change as time moves on.

I wonder what I'll miss about school, if I do, indeed, even miss anything at all. There'll be no more bells. No more permanant classes. No more rigid timetables. No more headmistress/headmaster or teacher to report to. No more worrying about who got the top mark in class. No more range of subjects to take.
Hmmm...in essence...no more school.
I'm moving again. But not physically. [or well, the physical part of moving might be a part of it] Rather mentally. Maybe even emotionally. It shouldn't be too different from what I've experienced already...in fact it should be exactly the same.
Just...on my own.

I'm seeing this as a whole new adventure already...=)

Mishy <3

The Omens of Study

The eyelids droop lower, and lower. Like a geometric progression, slowly.
Wonderous of the number of people who must have done the same thing, years past. The 1990s. 1980s. 70s. 60s. 50s. Pre-war.
Did they all feel the heavy feeling on the foramen magnum of their necks? The drooping eyelids, and sudden lethargy that came from nowhere. The fingers crack a bit, releasing the air that's been trapped within the joints. And that was the 5th time for the day.
She needs fresh air. It's been stagnant, wafting around the same room for so long. O2. A nice change from CO2. And H2O. Dehydrated and restless. How many moles of crap, she wonders, are found in 10 grams of chem?
Probably no more than can be found in Parliament House. A debate rages in her head. Yes. No. Sit down. You need a rest. You need to study. It's only for a month, you'll be fine.
Look at the context of the whole period she urges. All that study you did before will surely boost you up now if you continue to do the same. This will ensure you social and economic surety in a racist and patriarchal society.

Yup, the omens were there.

Exams are coming soon.

And my mocks are up on Tuesday.

Mishy <3

Two More Weeks...

Two more weeks.
Exams will be here soon. Not exactly the finals, but mocks are just about as scary as the real thing.
What MY question is, is... How did it get here so fast??

Massive shock and wake-up call. I have two weeks till exams. TWO WEEKS!
No one told me about this. Sheesh, where'd time go?
You know what's scary...I don't think I even know half the stuff I learnt last semester. And I'm freaking out already.

Having to work on homework AND revision isn't fun...it isn't easy, and I'm beginning to hate school for it. The pressure on us now is absolutely mental! I wish they'd learn to make things more even.
So bring on the late nights, and endless days. I think I'm headed back to my old dog days routine.

On a more cheerful note, I saw the Matric Dance photos of the Saints girls, and they all look stunning. =) I'm only upset that I'm not standing there with all of them in the photos, when I should've been.

Mishy <3