A Missing Piece

It's kind of strange how I'll always miss home.

Home.

What an obscure word. I've never really had a 'home' per se. But somehow 'Malaysia' and 'home' have come mean the same thing. To resemble similar connotations.

Why?

I haven't been 'home' for so many years. Holidays barely count. I can't speak the language(s) and if I were to ever go back, I know several foreigners who could and actually do fit into Malaysian society better than I ever could if I tried.

So why does the name 'Malaysia' still ring a bell for me, everytime I hear it?

I can look at a Tourism Malaysia advert with orang utans on it advertising Borneo and still feel sad. I've never been anywhere near Borneo, and I don't even like orang utans!

Listening to my friends talk about 'going home' always gives me a heart rending pang. I've never liked it, but I endure it all the same. One friend told me he was going back 'home' to Singapore during the uni holidays and it hit, just as hard and painful as it always did back then.

Everytime I go home, I feel a sense of relief, yet a sense of restriction. I want so much to be there more than anything else. But I could never live there permanantly. Like I know I could never live like that.

I watch the wandering locals as they shop to their hearts content and bargain at the market. And then every morning, watch them head off to their dreary '9 to 5' jobs without any reassurance of 'after hours pay'. Not there is really such a thing as a '9 to 5' job in Malaysia. Most jobs tend to be 12 hours a day or longer.
I can think of the fruits I miss. Jackfruits, papayas, mangoes, korean pears, cikus...all the very best in one country. And then my mind wanders to the enduring humidity and the unbearable period before a storm breaks over the crowded metropolitan KL.

It's like I know of something better. No matter where I am. I want the best of both worlds. Or several for that matter. A whole new world. Created just right, fitting my every need and want.

But it's not going to happen. There's no such thing as a perfect world. Only close to perfect. You can only try to be satisfied with what you have. Because what's the point in coveting what you don't have?
The grass is always greener on the other side. But your grass may just be greener than somebody else's.
Home is where you hang your hat. But my hat needs to be constantly moved.
I've always thought that the reason I could never stay in one place is because I needed to fulfill every aspect of my life. To get my share of something that I knew was better, even if it was on the other side of the world.

So is this the way it's going to be? I'll travel my whole life searching for the missing piece?
I've been asked if my global-nomad status will ever come to an end. Whether I'll ever be satisfied with staying in the one place. One guy I met even asked if I managed to stay in one place long enough to make any friends. My answer to that was to remain silent and to finally say that I was never really sure.

In which case, I can only hope that my perfect jigsaw can be found within this world. Or that I can find something better to fit the missing piece.

xx

The Fear

I just got jabbed today.

The Australian government is giving out a set of 'free' injections that aim to prevent cervical cancer in women. The injection is known as Gardasil.


Fortunately or unfortunately, I managed to put it off for quite a while. Until this week when my mum asked if I wanted to get it (even though I'd asked her 6 months ago if I should go get it...she scoffed at me that time) and decided that I should go get the jab before it stopped being free and I would have to fork out AUD$200 just to get poked in the arm. Today just had to be the day.

My face looked something like this as the doctor jabbed me:

(>_<)

I. Hate. Needles.

Especially if I don't have anythng to numb it. She told me what the purpose of the shot was, and then told me about any after effects that might occur.
She said the worst was that I would have a sore arm.

That didn't help.

She poked me with the cylinder first, but that didn't exactly help me to deal with it. It just made me get even more nervous.

So that's when I scrunched my eyes up into a million tiny wrinkles and grabbed onto the arm of the chair, hanging on for dear life and squeezing any life it had out of it.
Rest assured, the chair is very much dead. But I've walked away from it alive - a survivor with a very sensitive arm.

Let's just say if you touch it now, my other, much stronger arm will put you in a headlock and attempt to strangle you.

Mishy <3>

Opinion and Controversy

Because, you know what? Everyone is entitled to their own. And just because it doesn't match up with yours, doesn't mean that it's wrong.

Carrie Prejean.
I salute you.

Not because she's beautiful and can wear a string bikini better than most women can.
Not because she was dazzling and charismatic enough to get to the position of Ms. California.
Mind you, I didn't even know Ms USA was on until all the fuss and noise came on the news.

It was because she spoke her mind. For sticking to her morals. For refusing to follow whatever was supposed to be politically correct.
Even though she knew it would offend people. Even though she knew it was controversial.



So I'm pretty sure that everyone knows the story of Carrie Prejean - Ms. California.
Perez Hilton asks her if she believes that every state should follow Vermont and legalise same sex marriage. Her exact words:

'Well, I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And you know what, in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offence to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised and that’s how I think it should be - between a man and a woman. Thank you very much.'

Following that, Perez Hilton calls her a 'dumb b***h' on his blog.

She could've said what Perez Hilton wanted her to say. She could've gone with the flow. But she voiced her belief out loud. She stayed true to herself. So UP YOURS Perez Hilton. Don't put this all on your gay status and call her biased and backward. No one cares if you're gay. You asked her a question, and she answered it as best as she could. Just because you didn't like it doesn't mean she should immediately be labelled as a homophobe.

She's entitled to her opinion and no one can take that away from her. Even though she didn't win the title of Ms USA, I still think the fact that she was brave enough to say what she thought was more commendable. The Daily Mail reports that she believed that God was testing her on stage by allowing Perez Hilton to ask her that question. Test or no test - what would YOU have done? She's gone through months of rigorous testing and modelling, and pampering, only to be at the final step to gaining the title of Ms USA. To throw it all away simply because you wouldn't lie.

Now THAT is beauty.

So Perez Hilton can go crown anyone else he wants. The person who kisses his ass the most and tells him they love gay people like a good American citizen should. But Carrie Prejean certainly was the 'dumb b***h'. She was a prize winner of a different kind. And she didn't need Ms USA to be one.

To be honest, I support her view. I honestly believe that marriage was meant to be between a man and a woman. Although if I am not against gay people either. After all - they are just that. People. I have gay friends and bisexual friends. But it doesn't mean that I have to join them or insist on their behalf that they all get married and have one big happy family. If it so happens that gay marriage is in fact legalised in whatever country I live in, then so be it. Just don't expect me to fully understand the celebrations.

There's been news that people even want to take away her Ms California title. For goodness sake, she won it fair and square. She should keep it!
It was a difficult situation, and just because she didn't follow the other mindless sheep who would have given the politcally correct answer and said 'yes' to such a question doesn't mean she should be stripped of everything else.

She's given the rest of the world so much hope that we're not all turning into mindless politically correct drones.

I've said it way too often, but again - well done Ms California. You deserve it.

Mishy <3

No.

No. No. NO. NO?!?!

HOW did Perth ever make it to such a vote??
Can the added benefits of Daylight Savings not be seen?
Such as the fact that I won’t have to walk home in the dark when summer time comes around?? Or the fact that I will be able to wake up at 6am instead of the insane, ungodly hour of 5am when the sun will rise if Daylight Savings is not put into place??

What is WRONG with these people???

For the past five years, Western Australia has been undergoing a ‘Daylight Savings Trial’ where the clocks would be turned forward an hour every summer. Until that point in time, WA was the only state backward enough not to see the benefits of daylight savings.

A referendum (or a vote concerning the constitution/nation’s state of affairs) was put to the people on the 16th of May 2009.

And after five years of enjoying more sunlight and waking up at reasonable hours, THIS is the result we get??

The ‘no’ vote was tipped to win even before the referendum votes were counted. And it was close. Very close. Although I think the votes are still being counted, results currently stand at 45.3% 'Yes' votes and 54.7% 'No' votes. According to this website: http://www.waec.wa.gov.au/elections/live.php, the count has progressed by 82.89%.

I just want to say ‘thank you’ to those who voted yes. And despite knowing that it will be another friggin twenty years before another referendum concerning this comes up, at least I know you’ll probably vote ‘yes’ again.

There appeared to be a trend in the voters. Those who were younger than 25 generally wanted Daylight Savings to come in permanently. All the older people and the farmers wanted to continue going about their daily lives waking up at 5am. Just because it was too “troublesome to change the clocks every summer”.

%#*$@!*&#&

After finding out the result I locked myself in my room and plotted about a million ways to get myself out of the state as soon as possible. However, due to university requirement, I won’t be going anywhere permanently for a while.
Thankfully I will be out in another 4 years. I don’t think I can live with waking up at 5am every summer all that long. I already forsee a very tough 4 years ahead of me. Guess I should try going for holidays every summer then…

Mishy <3

The Electronic Project From Hell

One of the highlights and most stressful times I've ever had this year.

Under my Communications degree, I had to take ENGL1112 which is a Screen Texts and Print Texts unit, compulsory during first semester in my first year.
I had essays, readings, and never ending books to read. Which was great, since it's generally what I enjoy doing.

Then they threw us:

The Electronic Project from Hell.

That's the real name.

Formally, however, it's known as:

The iPod Project.

What we basically had to do was to use one of our texts: Patchwork Girl or Donnie Darko (I used this one), find a theme that ran through one of those texts and then do our own hypertext explaining our opinions and thoughts about it.

A hypertext is basically something that conveys a message electronically. It's like trying to write an essay using powerpoint. Only you've got to use words (if necessary), pictures, songs, audio, anything that conveys your meaning as creatively as is possible. An essay in pictures and audio.

I guess the pictures you use really do have to say a thousand words.

I can only say thank GOD that referencing isn't necessary. Otherwise I'd have a lot of trouble finding the artists who took the photos that I'd pinched off the internet. And the people who said/wrote the quotes I used. I even stuck in something that looked like poetry just so it would look like I'd done some work. It might be construed that way, but I never know since it didn't even rhyme. Ah well, poetic licence and all that.

My biggest problem though was having to do all the html referencing. I didn't even use bright colours or fancy fonts. It was just the absolute basics - having to link one slide to another, and making sure the video actually showed up when the link was pressed (which it didn't, the first time I tried. I eventually figured out that the video had to be in the iPod hard drive and not just iTunes before it would play up)
I feel rather bitter about this though. Why? Because my lecturer can't even switch on the computer without help, and she wants us to do...a hypertext project on an iPod??

Initally, we were all taught how to do the linking on an apple mac computer. Which I hated. Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike the mac? I have never used anything so complicated and annoying in my entire life. Although it doesn't help that my PC doesn't have the most recent Quicktime Player for me to format and edit video clips.
Thankfully, one student who shared my thoughts was generous and kind enough (I sincerely hope he knows it's him if he ever reads this) to post up instructions on how to do the entire project on PC. Which I gratefully followed. Step-by-step instructions really are a bonus for someone who left everything to the last minute and didn't even realise to what extent the full potential of an iPod was.

This task was set almost a month ago. But I finished it tonight, and finally, I can hand it in tomorrow morning before the 4pm deadline hits and all chaos in the Arts Building at UWA ensues.

To be honest - I had fun on this project. It was the canvas I never had. The blank space on which I could do absolutely anything I wanted. All that space, so much to do, so much to say. I believe I've definitely gone over the quota necessary - I only needed to create 10 slides and I think I have at least 15. The only think I hated about it was the html referencing I needed to do, just to get one stupid point across. But, well, that's art.

Thus ends the Electronic Project from Hell. :)

Mishy <3>

Pressure

I know I said I wouldn't start blogging during this month.

Unfortunately, according to the rules of my OCD nature, it is virtually impossible for me to leave my blogging quota for this month at 'one', and for this reason, I'll need to at least make up the number of posts to three. If I remember to make it up to the number three.

Nonetheless. I have TWO essays to hand in this week. One of which (the microeconomics one) I've already handed in. Hence the reason I feel safe enough to be typing this. The other (Asian studies) is due in on Friday.

And then I have an ipod project due in on Monday.

Ipod project?

Yes, ipod project. I have to give my opinion on a certain theme that runs through one of the movies I've been doing in my unit in as creative a way as possible. This means that I will more or less make my opnion look like a real live television show. Or a very complicated slideshow.
Whichever works. Either way, the idea of an ipod project is making me bushed.

.pressure pressure pressure pressure.

Funny how everything just ends up being due in the month before exams.

I got my exam timetable. I can only say I wish Microeconomics was one of the last exams rather than the absolute first. Of all the days I have to do the exam, it has to be a Saturday. Morning.

Life really should not get any worse. I've been nice enough to it as it is.

Mishy <3

Entrapment

So I got my results back for my Microeconomics mid-semester exam.
The one I've been killing myself over for almost a month now.

And...I didn't like what I saw.

Needless to say, after this post, I am grounding myself until mid-June. When all my projects and my units officially finish.

And while this is probably of no great concern to anyone - that's just my explanation for my absence of posts till then.

Thanks for understanding. :)

Mishy <3