Tuesday 30 June 2009

Note to Self

STOP GAMBLING.

xD

That sounded bad.

Today was the 90 million Oz Lotto draw. It's never actually hit 90 million before, so everyone in all of Australia basically went berserk.
I should know. Working at the newsagency today was no piece of cake. In fact, I was tortured, slowly but surely. When I checked the summary for the day, I found that we'd sold over 2000 lottery tickets today. When people came up to the counter wanting to buy things like 'Monday Lotto', I would look confused. People coming up to buy only cards or stationary definitely got some kind of weird glance from me today. Purely because I wasn't expecting it.

Everybody was investing in today's draw.
Everybody was hoping to win even a bit of it.


Even I was investing in it.


I checked my tickets online just now.

Guess what...?
























I didn't win.

Go ahead. Laugh.
What sucks more is this. My aunt from Malaysia also decided to invest in the lottery. I sincerily don't think she could resist the idea of winning 90 million Australian Dollars when she earned everything in Malaysian Ringgit. My parents also invested. And out of all of us - my aunt won AUD$20.45.

SHE'S NOT EVEN IN THE COUNTRY AT THE MOMENT!!!

But I SWEAR this is a sign from the Almighty above telling me to stop gambling.

xx

Saturday 27 June 2009

Star Light Star Bright

Two stars burned out this morning.

Okay, let me rephrase that. I watched Star Trek the other day.

Two of the brightest shining stars of Hollywood passed away on the 25th of June 2009, early morning on the 26th of June in Australia.

First of all, Michael Jackson. I probably don't even need to mention his name in all honesty. And yes, he is/was eccentric. But his songs kind of brought a weird sense of hope. And his song Black or White has stuck with me from the moment I heard it.
I heard it in the morning, and I was completely and utterly shocked. I'm definitely one of those people who believe that his time hasn't come yet.

Second of all, is the death of farrah Fawcet, one of the original Charlie's Angels. I never really knew who she was. That much is certain. But saw snippets of the video she made for cancer patients, and what she was trying to achieve, and I think my heart just bled for her a leeetle bit more than it did for Michael Jackson.
What really pisses me off is the fact that her death is barely being recognised.
After what she did. So her public career may not have been as bright as Michael Jackson's. But that doesn't mean that her death should be mentioned only AFTER Michael Jackson's. Nor does this mean that Michael Jackson deserves more coverage than Farrah Fawcet does.

Nonetheless. The world lost two stars. Let's hope there'll be more to brighten up the days again.
xx

Thursday 18 June 2009

Job Needed. Please Call Me.

No, I didn't mean that literally.

But I do need a job. A second job to be precise.
I went job hunting yesterday. I was planning on applying until I reached IGA which is just outside the Galleria. But that got kind of screwed up when I headed there and actually ran out of resumés to hand out. =/ And I printed out about 15.

Moral of the story - print out at least 30 the next time. ^^

So I'm planning on heading out to Perth City tomorrow to apply for some more jobs. Because goodness knows, I need it. Plus it'll hopefully keep me busy during my month long holidays.
It's funny how I've got to be perpetually busy, otherwise I'm never satisfied.

Generally speaking, I'm also applying for retail stores only. Mum said I should probably get a receptionist job. But I have absolutely no idea as to where to go for it. =/ Maybe to the dental clinic outside Morley. But goodness knows. It's very painful having to apply to shops where they either tell you they've just hired all the people they needed, or worse yet: 'apply online'.

Funny how all applications happen to be online. Not to mention how annoying they are.

One ice cream parlour manager told me he was sorry, and then proceeded to tell me how he had already employed 14 girls and since it was winter, he couldn't hire anymore. But good luck with my applications.
He was by far the nicest. Although I probably could have done without the story about his problems.

But yes, if anyone knows about people needing employees in Perth City or in Morley Galleria, please comment me. I do need the cash. ^^ And the holiday activities to keep me busy.
xx

Wednesday 17 June 2009

Examination Merdeka

So ends the first of many exams to come.

Surprisingly enough, I wasn't actually overly stressed about it. During the TEE, I was on full-on hyper drive mode. Yet, when I got to uni exams, I more or less turned up with a 'meh' attitude and did my best.

First up - ECON 1101, bright and early, 9am on a Saturday morning.
I swear Microeconomics will be the bane of my existance. BUT - this was the exam which I had stressed over since the beginning of my time at university, so I walked in, and actually felt prepared!
Of course, all my micro information flew out of my head the minute I heard the words 'set down your pens', but I was more than alright with it.
Next came ENGL 1112. I practically ran out of this exam about 15 minutes early. I was amazed at how much I was able to write and how much I was actually able to remember. However - I reserve all judgement...UNTIL I get my results back. :) English is never a topic you can be too sure about unfortunately.
Then ECON 1111 attacked me and more or less abused me for approximately two hours. I sat down, did the multiple choice questions, and then stared in complete and utter horror at the first short answer questions. After forcing myself to go slowly and to think about it, I finally got something that looked a bit more like a correct answer. I have no idea what I did to it, but all I know is that I will be reporting it for harrassment...
Finally, ASIA 1101 rounded off the exam. I also all but ran out of that examination. it wasn't too bad. But it also wasn't a bang-on exam either. So I shall leave comments on this one for now.

Moral of the story - never leave understanding lectures till the last minute. It'll drive you crazy. And possibly insane.

But for now, I'm on holidays. So bring on cold bursts of wind, rain and temperatures, blissful emptiness, late morning in bed, and...a whole lot more working hours?
I wish.
xx

Wednesday 10 June 2009

Tong Hua

The mandarin (and proper) name for the song is 'Tong Hua'. Translated into english, it's called 'Fairytale', and was written by Michael Wong, a Malaysian Chinese artist.
My brother gave me the song a while back. And being the banana (Chinese version of a coconut for those in Africa/America) that I am, I didn't actually understand the lyrics. ^^" Just thought that the song sounded nice.


But then *Chris did an english translation of the song a few weeks/months back? I have no idea.
Then the song made more sense.

Today I had a sudden, and very weird urge to youtube the video for the song.
My gosh. Biggest mistake ever.
I.am.ready.to.cry!
And I'm probably not going to sleep for a while now.
It's a lot better with the video. And yes, despite all my banana traits, the song actually takes on a meaning when you watch the video.



I've forgotten how long it has been
since I've never again...
listened to you telling your beloved fairytale
I've thought for a long time
I start to panic
have I done something wrong?

You said to me full of tears
Inside the fairytale are all lies
I can't possibly be your prince
Maybe you can ever understand
You said I love you ever after
The stars in my sky has lightened up

I'm willing to be
that angel you love inside the fairytale
Spread up my hands
become the wings to protect you
You must believe
believe that we can be like that in the fairytale
prosperity and happiness is the ending

You said to me full of tears
Inside the fairytale are all lies
I can't possibly be your prince
Maybe you can ever understand
You said I love you ever after
The stars in my sky has lightened up

I'm willing to be
that angel you love inside the fairytale
Spread up my hands
become the wings to protect you
You must believe
believe that we can be like that in the fairytale
prosperity and happiness is the ending

I want to be
that angel you love inside the fairytale
Spread up my hands
become the wings to protect you
You must believe
believe that we can be like that in the fairytale
prosperity and happiness is the ending

I will be
that angel you love inside the fairytale
Spread up my hands
become the wings to protect you
You must believe
believe that we can be like that in the fairytale
prosperity and happiness is the ending

Let's write our ending together


That's the lyrics of the song translated into english. It's probably a very crude translation, since I realise that sometimes meaning can be lost this way. And poetry is just sometimes better explained in mandarin. But it's the best I can give. I hope you enjoy it. I'm just going to go bawl my eyes out now...
xx

Tuesday 9 June 2009

Freedom of the Mind

I just wrote my english exam today.
You know that feeling? How when you haven't written huge amounts in a long time, you somehow just 'forget' how to write?
I got that today. It was so ridiculous.

My hand ached for a good two hours. Then I had to run and was almost late for my maths exam. Which I'm pretty sure I bombed. But I shall reserve judgement and pray for the best. No exams has ever gotten the better of me...and I won't let it now!

So in the course of my wandering, I headed over to the TCKid website. It's been a while since I thoroughly explored it...and the new changes make it look amazing! Unfortunately my technological illiteracy means that I'll have to spend hours toggling all the links to figure out just how it works properly...
But I found this passage on one of the discussion topics:

If you consider where your sense of self has always been located—in the idea of roots, the idea of coming from a place, the idea of inhabiting a kind of language which you have in common and the kind of social convention within which you live—what happens to the migrants is that they lose all three. They lose the place. They lose the language and they lose the social conventions and they find themselves in a new place with a new language—and so they have to reinvent the sense of the self. This is, after all, the century of the migrant as well as the century of the Bomb; there have never been so many people who ended up elsewhere than where they began, whether by choice or by necessity. And so perhaps that’s the source from which this kind of reconstruction can begin. People who are no longer caught in the old definition of the self, but capable of making new ones.

Excerpted from Imaginary Homelands


After going through my english exam, the passage made sense. My mind is in analytical mode right now. I need to destress and allow my cells to rewire itself back to normal functioning mode.

xx

Saturday 6 June 2009

ABC Interview on Third Culture Kids

Brice from TCKid.com sent me an email about this. In fact, he all but sent me postcard about this interview with ABC, an Australian news network about our TCK status.
So I finally listened to it. Partly to spite the exams I so dearly hate. And partly because I was curious as to what could be said on radio about our issues.


So that's the link to check out if any of you are interested. I know it's a little bit long. About 10 minutes worth of interview? But I listened to it, and once I started, I couldn't stop.
It was like going through the TCKid forums, but through sounds rather than through reading.

I was so excited, thinking that I would catch the interview on TV, but I guess that will have to wait.

Till then though, it's great that Brice is getting to this stage. If you ever come by Brice: two thumbs up!! But that's only because I have two thumbs. No strange externalities on my fingers.

For those of you who are too lazy to listen to the interview: Ruth van Reken (co-author of the book: Third Culture Kids), Brice Royer and Daniella Tudor were being interviewed by presenter Richard Aedy about what a TCK was and what the implications, both positive and negative were.
Ruth shared her research and emotions that one went through as a TCK, since she speaks from personal experience. Brice and Daniella both shared their personal stories, and how they dealt with the pain of not belonging.

I think it's the personal touch that helped to make the story so compelling.

Brice suffered from chronic pain in his hands for several years before realising that it was with-held emotion that caused all the pain. (listen to the interview for a full understanding of how bad it was. Allowing myself to imagine it gives me the shudders) Since then, he has retained full use of both his hands, for which I am eternally grateful for. Who else would run the TCKid website as well if not for Brice?! :)
I know Brice's story seems a bit extreme, but after listening to his story, I realised that there were many others who shared Brice's symptoms. Although I don't think I have experienced pain to the extent that Brice has, I also remember having experienced some form of pain in my hands. Clichéd as I know it sounds, it has gotten much better since I came to have a better understanding of what TCKs are and how I might be able to cope with it.

Daniella suffered from depression and extreme loneliness until she was introduced to the term 'TCK'. Since this is probably the stage at which most TCKs are, I think most of us can relate better to Daniella's story. I've been in Daniella's place before and in some ways I still am.
I guess it's a challenge I'll just have to overcome.

I don't exactly have much of a personal story to share. But even so - now is not my time. But I hope I've managed to help out any TCKs reading this as much as I can for now. Ruth, Brice and Daniella have helped us all so much through the TCK forum, so I hope it can help you too. :)

xx

Wednesday 3 June 2009

Sleepless Nights

I can feel my eyes burning out the back of my head. Any minute now, you're going to see two large amd fizzled out masses falling out from the back.

And much as I wish I could blame partying and late nights out for this - that's not the reason.
I've been trying to get into WebCT for the past hour or so...and I am being constantly LOCKED OUT!!

Staring at the computer is going to make me blind.
But I'm going to have to risk it.

I've got a good reason for trying this hard though. My microeconomics lecturer didn't actually give me any mocks exams to do in preparation for this exam. But he did "very kindly" (I'm drowning this in sarcasm) leave some multiple choice questions for us to do online.
So. Much as I dislike having to rely on these questions, they're all I have available to test myself with. Problem with these questions is that I can't practice any graphs. Or force myself to put everything down in words. Especially since he's mentioned that I will need to blurt out everything I know to get any marks whatsoever.

But I guess today's need to test myself is going to the dogs...since I can't actually access my last bit of hope for Micro!!!


I wish he'd given us a test. At least then I'd have no excuse for blogging. :(

xx

Monday 1 June 2009

In Malaysian News [I]

JAKARTA (AFP) — A teenage US-Indonesian model has returned to her family in Indonesia with tales of abuse, rape and torture at the hands of a Malaysian prince, after her dramatic escape with the help of Singapore police.

Manohara Odelia Pinot, 17, told reporters she was treated like a sex slave after her marriage to Tengku Temenggong Mohammad Fakhry, the prince of Malaysia's Kelantan state, last year.

Her mother, Daisy Fajarina, said she would press charges against the 31-year-old prince, and blamed the Malaysian and Indonesian governments for trying to cover up the alleged abuse.

"The things I've been afraid of were revealed to be true. Manohara has suffered physical abuse. She's got several razor cuts on her chest," Fajarina told AFP on Monday.

"No parent could be silent if their child was treated in such a barbaric way."

The Malaysian government had ignored her pleas for access to her daughter and had blocked her from entering the country, she said, while the Indonesian embassy had said that Manohara was fine with her new husband.

But the young woman -- a well-known socialite in Jakarta -- said her life at the royal palace involved a "daily routine" of rape, abuse, torture and occasional drug injections that made her vomit blood.

She said she was usually held under guard in her bedroom at the palace and was injected with tranquilisers whenever she complained.

"I am still traumatised by all that happened and it has left an impact on me," she told reporters in Jakarta on Sunday, after escaping the royal family during a trip to Singapore over the weekend.

"Sexual abuse and sexual harassment were like a daily routine for me, and he did that every time I did not want to have sexual intercourse," she was quoted as saying in The Jakarta Globe.

"I could never think a normal man could do such things," she said, adding: "Some parts of my body were cut by a razor."

The teenager whose fairy-tale wedding to a prince captured the imagination of Indonesia said she would be tortured if she did not appear to be happy when she attended social functions with Fakhry.

"Every time I went for events they forced me to smile and would torture me if I did not do what they said," she told the press conference.

She said she secretly called Singaporean police and pleaded for help after the royal family took her to the city state when they accompanied Fakhry's father, Sultan Ismail Petra Shah II, for medical treatment.

"The police told Fakhry that he would be held in jail if he did not let me go. No one could force me against my will in Singapore and I knew I had a chance to escape," she said.

The model once voted as being among Indonesia's "100 Precious Women" said she escaped her guards by pushing the Singapore hotel elevator's emergency button.

They were reluctant to chase her because they knew the scene would be captured on security cameras.

She blasted the Indonesian embassy in Malaysia, saying: "They made it worse by telling lies, saying that I was fine while I was suffering in Kelantan."

A spokesman for the Indonesian foreign ministry insisted the embassy had done everything it could to help Manohara and said the government would assist her if she wanted to file charges against her husband.

Malaysian Deputy Prime Minister Muhyiddin Yassin said the government would not investigate the claims.

"I think this is more of a personal matter. To date we have not been dragged into it, so we want to leave it as it is," he told reporters in Kuala Lumpur.

Malaysia's royal rulers used to enjoy immunity from criminal and civil charges but the privilege was removed in 1993.

There has been no comment from the Kelantan royal family.

Manohara's lawyer, Yuri Darmas, said she would have a medical examination to back up her allegations of abuse.

"We need one to two days to gather evidence before we file a lawsuit to the Malaysian police," he said, adding that he intended to pursue both criminal and civil lawsuits against the prince.

Manohara has already filed for divorce, her mother said.

Copyright © 2009 AFP. All rights reserved.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Not to post this up would be a crime. To keep silent while this kind of torture occurs on a daily basis. Mentally and morally, it would be a crime.
It's sad how in this day and age, this kind of thing can happen.

This is one that occured under a pretty public eye. But imagine the amount of abuse that goes on for other women? The women who keep silent while their husbands or their boyfriends beat them everyday. Or sexually abuse them. Doesn't matter. It's all wrong.

The refusal of the Malaysian government to intervene just simply sends a message to all of us saying that they will condone such stupid and offensive behaviour. More than anything, it says that the rulers are above the law and whatever they want to do is condoned.

Looks like some things in Malaysia don't change. In which case, neither will my opinion of the government in Malaysia. My faith in Malaysian politics decreases with each passing day, and this just caused the biggest drop.
The country I was born in. The country I should love and try to protect.
Marred by the idiots who run it.
Screw politics. Screw you UMNO. Screw you.

xx