"The horror, the horror!"

The words uttered by Kurtz, a character in the novella Heart of Darkness.
Yes, I may sound a bit of a geek, but I honestly believe that that quote comes in handy for what I saw in history class today.

I am currently doing the Vietnam War in history class [for the 2nd time- goodness, as if once wasn't enough] and my amazing history teacher Maisey showed us some of the stuff that came up on TV during those times, when the media still had free reign over what was and wasn't shown.

And that little girl with the napalm on her, wasn't as bad as I imagined it to be. I felt horrible, just watching her run, and the skin peeling off her back. Before, when I saw her running, in her photos, I imagined a silent scream emerging from that photo. It must've been painful. It must've been the worst thing she's ever experienced. An innocent girl, probably not understanding what in the world was actually going on, and she is the one who gets hurt out of all the real protagonists of the war. When I saw a shot of LBJ walking onto a platform immediately after that video, I just felt one pure unadulterated rush of hatred for him.
And you know what? I generally don't even hate people. I could easily be described as a sober hippie. [a rare occurence in any generation]
And then I saw another video...and I've also seen the photo version of this one as well. It was of a Vietcong member, who had killed an army general's best friend, wife, and six kids. The army general was the godfather of those six children, and this Vietcong member had killed them all. The man was arrested, and the general went up to him and shot him straight in the head. I cannot even begin to describe just how horrified I was, and...the pain that went through my head, even as I saw it through the slits in my finger was so intense. I cannot forgive that Vietcong member for doing what he did. But then again, neither can I condone what the army general did.

And you know, even as I walked away from that history class. Even as I was taking my panadol and swiging down the largest amount of water I've taken this entire winter to calm myself down, I could only think: This is what war does. This is war. All's fair when it comes to war. Could I really accept what was happening? No.

But then again, if I was in that position...would I have done exactly the same?
I think I most probably would have. All's fair in war.

I hate war.

Mishy <3