It's hard to believe that I have another two weeks left of holidays before I have to go back and endure all the pain and stress and excitement of uni again.
It's a very depressing thought, I've grown very accustomed to sitting around, reading, playing my music and doing absolutely nothing.
Then there were the exam results. Such a major let down. I was okay with everything. Everything!
Except...the micro marks.
The one I studies for the hardest.
The one Commerce exam I thought I had a handle on.
I failed it.
And I'm not sure if I'm actually coping with it all that well. No test or exam has ever gotten the better of me.Until now.
Unlike high school, you can't amend it with other marks. You can't just leave it and say 'well, I didn't need it anyway, since I have back ups'.
I don't have any back ups for the one subject that probably made my life hell through the first semester.
Don't get me wrong, I love uni and still do. It maintains my level of stress so that I have just enough to worry about to survive. But Microeconomics is the only thing that has taken so much energy out of me and given me the final let down at the end.
Not to mention, I'm genuinely afraid of the parental reactions. Seeing as my parents are actually paying my uni fees. I have no idea how I will reveal it as quickly and painlessly as possible. To me at least.
That's more or less my educational and mental hell right there.
Then there's the complete and utter boredom of the holidays.
I actually have no idea how anybody is able to deal with this...nothingness for days on ends.
I know it's good to have this break at times. But most days, waking up is just such a pain because I know that there's nothing waiting to face me for the coming day.
I think the lack of stress actually scares me. In a very weird way.
xx
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